By the time you read this, I hope to be in Saudi Arabia. What?! you scream. Whatever for? you ask. Silly questions. As if you don't know that my president is there (or is he?). Well that is one reason i need to go there to find out if indeed he is there. Moreover, I used to think that the seat of power in Nigeria is in Aso Rock in Abuja and that is where the president is supposed to be. But these days, for every one time that Abuja is mentioned in the news, Saudi Arabia is mentioned 10 times. What am i supposed to think? That Nigeria is now operating on offshore capital? Anyway, back to what i was saying about going to Saudi Arabia. If you have not noticed, the vogue is now to constitute a four man or six man or one million man committee to go there and see how the president is faring. Members of the Plateau state house of assembly went some time ago and came back without any news for us. Members of the National Assembly are on their way i hear. All six of them if i am not mistaken. Your guess is as good as mine - they will come back as Turaised as all the others that went before them.
I think i am the only one that can get pass her. So i have decided that i shall constitute my own committee comprising myself, my aged mother, my two brothers, my two sons and some of my brother's children. About ten of us in all are on a fact finding mission to that country. And guess what? We shall be entitled to estacode, presidential flight to and fro, accomodation at the expense of the country. Indeed an all expense paid trip. Then if we are unable to see the president, nothing spoil...as they say. We shall spend some days extra just to make sure that we are unable to see him. In the meantime we shall eat, sleep and think at the expense of tax paying Nigerians. We will spend our estacodes shopping for the other members of our immediate and extended family and some hangers on. Oh, I forgot i am not a politician so i do not have any hangers on. But we shall spend the estacode in the best way possible.
When we come back, we shall let you know that we were unable to see the president and if you like, you can constitute your own committee and visit him on a fact finding mission. This is what i think: by the time one hundrend and fifty million nigerians fly to Saudi Arabia and back, someone will know for sure where and how the president is. For now, lets keep the tax payers paying and the rest of 'us' flying....that is my world.
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A real sick country where anything goes. The major sickness(es) of the 50yrs old nation according my native doctor are -Syncophancy and Greed(they are close relatives). But let me correct you, your trip shall be at the expense of environmental degredation in the Niger Delta. Afterall who pays tax in Nigeria except the hapless civil servant with their meagre take homes. These heartless daddies,uncles and bothers of ours have sucked the masses like mosquitoes especially the Niger Delta,no thanks to our greedy governors and national representatives. If not this oil money where the money come for all these trips of syncophancy and personal gains exception of yours come from? Mark my words, they will soon have their reward.
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